In a world where every election is the most important of our lifetime, cities are burning and people randomly kill each other, it can be tough to find a silver lining. The constant barrage of bad news, thanks to 24/7 news (opinion) channels, late night television shows, that have stopped entertaining and have just become the continuation of the political propaganda of the day, and the day to day frustration, and anger, of the people we run into, can cause one to pause and wonder if it will ever get back to normal.
Well, I refuse to become a victim of the “new normal.” I say fuck it; take off the mask and smile. What this country needs is a good pie in the face, a joy buzzer handshake, and group of guys in a Ford Pinto mooning unsuspecting people standing in line to get clearance to enter the fucking Home Depot.
Did you ever think that entering a grocery store, hardware store, or Wal-Mart would reach the level of entering an exclusive club in Hollywood or New York City? My God, we are no longer carded, we are tempt! When the fuck did that happen? You thought that someone asking you if you have an STD was insulting; how about someone scanning your head, and asking you if you’ve had these symptoms or been with anyone with them? Talk about an invasion of privacy, that the entire crowd behind you is witnessing.
Besides, do I look like a fucking doctor? How the fuck do I know if Tony or Sarah have COVID, or COVID like symptoms? Maybe Tony took a bad drag off a joint, or Sarah’s drink went down the wrong pipe? When was I enlisted into the Brownshirts? I’m now totally with the “ignorance is bliss” crowd. Those “woke” motherfuckers are out of their paranoid, basement dwelling, snowflake minds.
I say we work on getting back to normal and enjoying life. Shit, it is short enough as it is. I mean, one day soon the corpse in the casket will have to wear a fucking mask. Come on, man. Really, I say unsocial distance. Hug your family, smile; and as I white guy let me just say this six foot thing is killing my sex life, as much as that six inch thing.
I propose that the next stimulus package contain dildos, vibrators, fake pussies, latex mouths, beer, cigarette, and fast food vouchers. Sure, a cash payment would be great, but to Make America Great, we need the wholesale distribution of whoopee cushions to every man, woman, and child in these great United States.